fifteen &
1/2 v i e t n a m e s e & 1/2 c h i n e s e
I trust and love to the fullest. Because love & friendship is all or nothing. There's no in-between bullshit.
NEVER been more happy to be out of school. This year fucking blowed.
One of the things that gets me really pissed off is when people complain about their life or their family when it’s not really a big deal. I get it if you’re really mad at that moment and you need to let it out, but I’m talking about just randomly talking shit or saying it more than several times. I’ve heard people say shit about how their parents yell at them, “verbally abusing” them, or “physically abusing” them, or doing both. And it annoys me because most of the time the “verbal abuse” is shit about how lazy and fat and ugly they are or something, and the “physical abuse” is just the typical hitting and slapping and threatening. Getting hit only hurts during that moment; you’ll barely be able to remember it in a week. Actual verbal abuse is when your parents CONSTANTLY tell you that you should die and you’re a waste of life, shit like that. Actual physical abuse is when they beat you so hard you get big bruises and scars and there’s blood.
I’ve been hit plenty of times, and some of them have hurt, and my parents always say shit about how I’m ugly and fat and I fuck up everything and some other shit. But that’s their method of discipline, and mine’s not the only household that uses that method. If your parents regularly talk shit about how you look or how you’re not living up to their academic standards, get the fuck over it, that happens to alot of people. Be glad they don’t hit you. And if your parents do hit you and yell at you then always remember that there are much worse scenarios happening in the world right now, real abuse, and be thankful that your parents don’t do that.
I just get fucking annoyed when people complain about how their life sucks and how their parents are scary and they’re afraid and shit like that when it’s not even that bad. I don’t give a damn if you’re more sensitive than other people, that’s not an excuse. If alot of people can be fine with it you can too. I don’t feel the least bit of sympathy for those who say shit like that, because most of the time I’ve had it worse (not trying to say my parents are abusive, they’re not at all) and I know people that go through actual abuse and nobody ever complains or talks shit about their family. Get the fuck over yourself.
It’s been almost a year
since I sought out help from a friend. I’ve been tackling my problems myself for a long time, but I needed help and comfort this time. It was too much for me to bear.
Gave up everything I had and looked forward to for the wrong reasons.
I wish crying could be the solution and fix everything but it can’t. It just reminds me how foolish and childish I still am.
It’s so hard to keep friends.
Or maybe it’s just hard for me. This whole year I’ve been so unmotivated to talk to any of my old friends… partly I don’t know why, partly cause there’s no more time, and partly because I feel like I’ve changed so I’m not sure if I can talk to them like how I used to. Like have an actual decent conversation, not some how-have-you-been-doing-long-time-no-talk-i-miss-you bullshit.
It’s a sad thing. I feel alone.
